Learning to Speak...Australian

Pax Christi vobiscum! Come Holy Spirit!

Well, it's been about 3 weeks for me here in Sydney, Australia. And I have to say it's everything that Finding Nemo had prepared me for. That movie is dead on! Everything from the accents, to the Opera House, to the way the seagulls all say, "Mine! Mine! Mine!" as they surround anyone who so much as opens a packet of saltine crackers. Basically, I'm trying to tell you that everything you see in movies is true....

I'd have to say that the thing I've enjoyed most down here is trying to learn the Australian Language.

"But Paul, don't they speak...English?" you ask, looking at me like I'm as slow as a koala bear.

Reading your mind, I respond, "First, koalas are not bears, they're marsupials. Second, saying that Australians speak English is like saying that French Fries are actually French. It sounds good, but it's just not true." (Note: As far as I know, French fries may actually originate in France...)

So I thought I'd introduce you to some of the fun colloquialisms that I've discovered in my time here, in order to dispel this so-called English speaking myth.

For one, I found that they end all of their sentences with a "full-stop" and not a "period." I will now continue blogging from a telegraph--full stop.

Sorry that last joke really threw a "spanner in the works" (pronounced "spanah een thah wuks"...this is really difficult), as they say. This is Australian for "wrench in the gears," a much simpler and commonsensical expression.

There's also...

• Chunder (pronounced "Chunduh"), Australian for "Vomit." (The Chunduh from down unduh...)
• "Hooroo," Australian for Goodbye.
• "G'day," Australian for "Hello, how are you, it's been too long, and I'd very much enjoy getting together sometime in the near future if you're so inclined."
• "Good onya," Australian for "Good for you!"
• And "Foster's," Australian for beer.

So it's been a fun time getting to know the locals down here. I will try to catch you up when I have more phun phrases phor you.

Alright, now I'm just getting loopy. God bless, and please keep the parish here in your prayers! They've got to deal with the same guy who writes these bizarre blog posts. Hooroo!